Wednesday, February 01, 2006

My State of the Union Message

Section 3. He shall from time to time give to the Congress information of the state of the union, and recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in case of disagreement between them, with respect to the time of adjournment, he may adjourn them to such time as he shall think proper; he shall receive ambassadors and other public ministers; he shall take care that the laws be faithfully executed, and shall commission all the officers of the United States.
[US Constitution, Article II]

Back in grad school, the Running Dog made an interesting observation about the State of the Union address. He mentioned to me how it was a bit of an anachronism. While back in the day you might have needed the President to call Congress together and let 'em know what was happening, these days the Congress knows what is in the Treasury, what our ambassadors are reporting, etc., - it is now just ceremonial speechifyin' (well, he might not have used that actual term). Running Dog's idea was that the President just send over a brief written missive, and skip the TV time.

In the spirit of that suggestion, I have a short alternative State of the Union message:


Dear Congress,

Economy - 5% unemployment, modest inflation, tax revenues surging = Pretty darn good. How 'bout that Fed, huh?
War - Hard slogging, but we're winning. When the enemy has to crawl out of a cave to send out a badly made video saying, "Ha, you didn't kill me yet" - take that as a good sign.
Domestic Stuff - Expect the goodies to keep raining out of the Treasury.
Critics - How about one original idea from you Monday Morning quarterbacks before my second term is up?
Supreme Court - Ha ha.

Sincerely,
The Prez

3 Comments:

Blogger Simon Peter said...

I like your version the best.

5:21 PM  
Blogger Major John said...

It's not 51 minutes either...

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should get a job as a speech writer. Politics would be a different world; the greenhouse gas problem would be solved!

Retread

8:56 AM  

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