Saturday, October 22, 2005

My Role Model

If one reads the Oxford Military Anecdotes, one can find many heroes, examples of courage, and wondrous feats of arms. However, the story I have taken to be a model to be followed (as a logistician) is #109:

There was [a] ... Man that was remarkable for a great Eater, his Name was John Jones, who belonged to Captain Cutler's Company: He said he was prodigious hungry. With that the Men asked him how many Cannon Balls he had eaten for his Breakfast. Then I said to him, Thou deservest Preferment, if thou canst digest Cannon Balls. Then Sergeant Smith came up to me, and told me, He had eaten four or six twenty-four Pounders, and as many six or twelve Pounders in a Morning for his Breakfast. Now this Sergeant was not addicted to tell fabulous Stories, though it seemed incredible to any one's Thinking. But he explained it in this Manner, that the Man often frequented the Fields in Search of those Cannon Balls; that he had used to dig them out of the Banks, and had brought a great Number in a Morning to the Artillery, in order to dispose of them for Money; and the Money he bought his Provision with. Had there been no Cannon Balls flying, he certainly could not have subsisted; for he both eat and drank more than ten moderate Men: So that his daily Study was to provide for his Belly.

4 Comments:

Blogger Simon Peter said...

Hey. I think I resemble that!

8:05 PM  
Blogger Pixie said...

I ate an entire 3 pound lasagne by myself today... does that count?

2:16 AM  
Blogger tempus42 said...

Ordinarily, I don't consider myself to be an illiterate moron, but I read this quote twice, and I still don't get it. :( Reminded me of a time a friend of mine sent me a transcript from some NPR show saying it was "the funniest thing he had ever heard" -- To me, it seemed to be champion-class pointless rambling, but maybe you had to hear it live...

9:30 AM  
Blogger Major John said...

Tempus - Guy hears about a dude who is known as a real eating machine. Guy hears the dude's buddies say "yo, how many cannonballs you eat?" Guy says, "woah, you the man if you can eat cannonballs" Sarge says, dude has eaten a whole bunch of big old cannonballs in one sitting. But the joke is that he isn't reall y eating the cannonballs, just running around the battlefield scavenging them to sell to the artillery - then he takes the cash and buys extra chow. He's such an eating machine that if there weren't any cannonballs getting blasted around, he'd starve...

that help?

10:50 AM  

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